You don’t have to pay for the minibar (part two)
Check in at the desk and make a strong request for a non-smoking room, possibly mentioning allergies. Refuse help from the bellman and go up to your room unaccompanied. Immediately open the minibar and shove every goddamn item into your suitcase. Then: smoke a cigarette on the bed and gaze out the window. After: call down to the desk and complain about the smoke smell in the room. Request to be moved. Go to your new room, close the door and get fat and salty and drunk on your suitcase of snacks.
They will never trace that minibar to you. Moving rooms in the system, when it’s done the same day you check in, leaves almost no trace, no overnight confirmation that you ever occupied that suite. Certainly nothing that allows them to track down those five minutes where you stole $500 worth of individually wrapped snacks.
