Interview with a mushroom

image

Just had a very interesting / hilarious job interview with a Khmer company owned by a good mate of hun sen. For those of you that live here I’ll call it SHITAKE and let’s just say they are property developers building over of a once famous expanse of water in downtown Phnom Penh. Got it ?

So I got contacted yesterday and was summonsed for 3pm today. “please bring passport,all certificates and fill out the application form” to which I after inspecting said ( extremely invasive ) form answered “I’ll do all of that if we proceed past our initial meeting”. I really just went out of pure interest given their public exposure…

I arrived at the offices on the development site and was instantly blocked by pistol toting guards who were not letting me in for love not money. But I was told to expect this and so rang my contact,a very efficient young Khmer chap who spoke to the thugs who then lightened their grip on their guns and opened up.

I was shown to a meeting room resplendent with faux vuitton sofas and chairs, a diamond chandelier and told to wait. Which I did patiently for 30 mins. I was about to get up and go when a young lass walked in and introduced herself.

Reading monotonically from her apple iPhone she gave me a run down on the  company and I had to stop myself myself from saying “I do read the papers you know..” But didn’t. We then moved into the interview proper and was expected it was mind numbing.

Like a game of wanker bingo she jammed as many power words and new fangled corporate mumbo jumbo bimbo as she could into her questions so much so that neither of us really knew what was going on. I found myself asking “can you rephrase the question” several times just to flummox her.

Seems my resume hadn’t been read in any detail and when she asked me how I would go about improving the company I had to really work on not replying “well I’d work on your public image first cos you are the devil incarnate to many”. Question after question after bloody question about systems this and systems that and before long I was in a trance. Thing is, she just nodded to my answers and didn’t write anything down. I should have just said “bugger me senseless” to everything.

Then..”ok…now my director will interview you” and in comes a dude who starts asking me all the same fucking questions. Jesus h. Eventually two hours past and they got around to.asking me how much I expected as a salary. I loaded my figures to the hilt in an attempt to NOT get this job and their little eyes ppopped.

Shitake. Now hiring mushrooms.

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2 Responses to Interview with a mushroom

  1. catherine says:

    LOL 🙂

  2. Michael says:

    Have been following you from California for years. Don’t get all the references but that’s ok. Just keep up the good fight.

    I have to say it might have been fun to work in the nut house

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