So there is this couple in Australia called Michael Clarke and Lara Bingle.

Clarke smashing balls

Clarke is famous for one thing – being a shit hot cricketer.

Bingle makes guys smash their balls

Bingle is famous for quite a few things ; Firstly, her name is fucking stupid. Secondly,she was the face of a famously stupid , incredibly expensive and briefly lived advertising campaign by Tourism Australia with the slogan ” Australia – where the bloody hell are you ?”. Thirdly,she got engaged to Michael Clarke and became Australia’s newest ,most famous( ok ok – and hottest ) cricket WAG. Then,fourthly recently it came to light that some footy thug called Brendon Favola took a nude photo of her in the shower when she was 19. In her defense,she is clearly seen in the photo as not being happy about it BUT she then went on  to try to sell her story to the highest bidder. How very chavish.

Result ? As soon as the story breaks Clarke leaves the Australian Cricket camp in New Zealand, flies home and dumps his fiancée for reasons unknown.

Ok the story should end there.But , no, today there are many more stories and commentaries coming from all fronts about this HISTORIC event. My favourite is the report that one of the pair dumped the $200,000 engagement ring down the dunny and plumbers were called in with cameras and metal detectors to probe the loo.The only remaining questions are ; who gets to keep the brand new Aston Martin Vantage Clarke bought Bingle and what the fuck is going to do with his half sleeve tattoo that has Bingle Bongle’s initials at the top of it ?

Mate - ink rule # 1 - never EVER get your GF's initials tattooed on your arm.

And really – WHO GIVES A FUCK ?!