After a tiring weekend there is nothing I like more than some Sunday afternoon couch time. Just me and the flat screen,a good DVD, and some peace and quiet. I have been waiting for my man at Russian Market to get a good copy of the latest Tarantino flick Inglorious Basterds ( spelling !? ) and so it was with interest I sat down to watch this much talked about flick. Now…I am no Bill Collins but…..
This film sucked quite hard.
It could have been unreal. A tangible WW2 storyline that lent itself to excessive Tarantino-ish violence, great actors and ..well….Tarantino at the helm ! Unfortunately, it seems like Tarantino only put half his heart into it. There are some painfully long scenes.The opening scene for example just goes on and on and on. I thought it was going to end with the French Dairy Farmer scalping the Nazi SS Officer and saving the Jews he is harbouring under his floor. Instead, the French guy starts crying like a baby and gives them up like the cheese eating surrender monkey that he is. It could have been done in a few minutes. Then, mid-way through the film we have the basement scene. As you sit on the edge of your seat waiting to see how it plays out you almost fall off your seat……….waiting to see how it plays out. Jesus hurry up will you. Again, lets see some god damned Nazi fuckers get wasted in full technicolour shall we ? Well..they do but then so does everyone else in the scene including some of the main stars who have only just got into the plot ! Again – 5 minutes would have done it. Then it is all wrapped up fairly quickly with the fire scene and the surrender of the SS Officer and that’s that.
Brad Pitt sucked. With a “George Clooney /Brother Where art thou” contorted facial smirk on his dial and more hair gel than Max Factor, he didn’t really do much.
The Nazi SS guy sucked. He belonged in a Mel Brooks spoof with is queer as hell monotribes.
Bear Jew sucked. He only beat one guys head in with his baseball bat. MORE DAMN IT !
Hitler Sucked – didn’t look anything like him .
Basically, the plot sucked despite huge early promise.
The only good thing was the uniforms at the Opening Party. There is nothing cool about being a Nazi but full Nazi regalia ( even if overly done and probably not historically correct ) is pretty…er…..dashing ( in an evil way…)