I gave thanks, watched Mumbai Burn and ate much mush


Last night I decided to head over to Lone Star Saloon with the family for my first ever Thanksgiving Dinner. I actually had to google first to find out what TG was all about. I had it in the back of my mind that it was a celebration of American land stealing and Indian slaughtering and being an Australian from English settler stock, I could not have supported this. However, as it turns out, it is a day of ..er…..thanks giving when those dudes with the funny hats ( the Pilgrims) actually sat down with the Indians and thanked them for showing them how to grow crops etc. That’s what Wikipiedia says anyway ! I am sure there might have been the odd Pilgrim scalping or Indian bashing going on out the back behind the shed later that night but basically it was all about a good drink and a nosh so who can argue with that ?.

I had a couple of cold tinnies at home and waited for Leakhana to arrive home and when she did there were two surprises in stall for me – First, she was using the Baby Bjorn carrier and loved it and second she says “Sweetheart….I am starving, let’s hit LS for TG and no….I don’t need shower or make-up”. Well…… roll me over and dip me in pig sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. 10 minutes later we were in the Pilgrim Mobile combating Phnom Penh peak hour and we were soon pulling up at Lone Star. On arrival, we found Jeff ( almost asleep from overeating), Vattey, Darren and Stuart all knocking back beers along with a host of yanks and assorted partners. I ordered up two plates of Turkey Dinner and Grace settled onto her mothers lap for a good ‘ol dose of TG boozie milk.

Whilst Leakhana,Vattey and Grace enjoyed the front terrace, the lads sat transfixed to the big screen and CNN’s coverage of the Mumbai fiasco. As the beers flowed, we got so bored with the crap CNN coverage that the conversation got very silly indeed;

Stu; “What’s that big round dome on top of the hotel ?”
Me; “That’s a moozie bubble Stu”
Darren;” There are only 5 hostages inside..they should just nuke the whole fucking hotel and every moozie inside”
Jeff;” Geez I am sleepy..but I can’t wait until Mossad arrives to deal with the moozies in the Jewish Centre””
All; “Fucking moozies !! Where are TEAM AMERICA, JACK BAUER,ANDERSON COOPER and BRUCE WILLIS when you need them”

“Our timing on this is lousy….we are missing thanksgiving dinner you know…..”


“Jack,Anderson..I am already inside. I am hiding behind a photocopier on the 5th floor and there are moozies everywhere. Can you come get me….?

“Can do John…but let’s get on thing straight – there is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. My way is basically the right way but faster and with more deaths”
“I’m coming with you Jack. I have never killed a moozie but I have thought about it alot.Have you got a gun I can borrow ?……”

“I am sending my team over.There is one condition..after we have nuked these moozie bastards Anderson has to S**K MY D**k”


Stu; ” Does this really mean the cricket isn’t on ?”
Jeff:” I think Sean Penn and Angelina Jolie are flying in to sort the cricket out as we speak ..”
Me; ” I don’t know who is worse – the fucking moozies or all those tooled up Indian commandos who can’t sort the problem out”
Jeff; ” ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”.

Stay the fuck where you are you idiot.

Due to the gravy and the turkey settling in the stomach like Khmer cement, we were soon all on our way home at 7.30pm ! for a few episodes of Monk and an early sack time.

Would I do it again ? you bet.

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