21sts,Mother-in-law massages,Car accidents and a huge explosion.

Friday Night ; With Grace safely over at her grandmother’s and despite my back pain ( more on that in a minute), Leakhana and I headed out to Srey Touche’s 21st birthday at a BKK1 beer garden. With a crowd of 50 or so people that consisted of heaps of stunning Khmer girls all dolled up and young western guys, we made for quite the crowd. There were many married couples in attendance, some familiar faces and all in all it was a great night. A lovely buffet, Anchor sputniks and bottles of Jack Daniels, Scotch Whiskey and Vodka one every table ensured everyone got well lubricated before rolling on to Riverhouse. Srey Touche looked like a Princess and was the belle of the ball.

Saturday ; I know this is going to sound a bit weird but my mother-in-law gives amazing massages. On Thursday I got my Twice-a-year back twinge and by Saturday I was a bit of a contorted mess.We had to go pick Grace up and this was not really something I was looking forward to doing given my pain. However, being the trooper I am, I bit the bullet and drove over there wincing all the way. Anyways…..I really just wanted to pick the baby up and do a runner back to The Compound. My wife had other ideas and wanted to visit so we trundled up the several flights of stairs and I collapsed in a sweaty, painful mess. As Leakhana,Grace,Yay and Mum clucked away…I sat in the chair and stayed as still as possible and I soon had to lie on the floor . As I made for the floor, my Mother-in-law did what she normally does and laid a large flat square pillow out for me to lie on. This time, however, she motioned for me to lie on it on my stomach and the next thing I know she produced a strange looking bottle of “slimming lotion” (god knows I need it!) and proceeded to slather it on my back. Within a minute I realised this lotion was actually super duper strength Dencorub-style athlete’s lotion that started burning my lower back with never before experienced intensity. Mum then gave me one of the best massages I have had in a long time. She gently kneaded away at all the right spots and I could feel the pain ebb from my sore body. Half an hour later I was feeling like a new man and I could not thank Sokhan enough. Not sure how many other guys out there have had their mum-in-law give them a massage but damn……mine was great !

Slimming stuff…….

Saturday night; zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sunday; We rang Phalla and told her to bring the baby (and whoever else) over for a visit and we were soon receiving a phone call to say she had made it to within 300m of our house before having an accident. I jumped in the jeep and headed out and soon found Phalla,Vichea, Mum,Veasna, Nek and Pek just around the corner….along with a bloodied freshy boy and some girl. Turns out Phalla had slowly attempted top cross the main street in her Camry when these two nongs came along at high speed and simply ploughed into the side of the car. No injury to anyone but the Camry was a bit of a mess. What ensued was altogether confusing and hilarious. Everybody got on their phones and soon enough a few relatives of the couple on the moto arrived. Lots of talking and pointing and walking back and forth to inspect damage etc.mum once again proved herself to be a pit bull in the face of adversity. Finally we all hopped in our car(s) and convoyed over to a smash repair shop near Tra’s work in Toul Kork and eventually we were heading back to The Compound.When we got there I asked Leakhana to tell me what had transpired and it went like this ; The couple on the bike had originally said they were brother and sister. When their family members arrived, it transpires that the girl had borrowed the scooter from her Uncle to “go to the shop”. By now the boy that was riding the scooter has mysteriously disappeared and further questioning reveals the girl was actually out cruising with her boyfriend. The Uncle was furious and agreed to pay all costs when he heard how the accident occurred ! Now THERE is one for the books. I guess there is one very repentant young khmer girl in Phnom Penh today .

I then decided it was food time so the girls went off to the market for kilos of king prawns whilst the kids played and Mum looked after the babies. We then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening doing the family thing with the kids making a collage out of our wedding photos and the women all…being women. The outstanding part of the afternoon came in the form of a record breaking bum-blurt from Vichea. Phalla and I were chatting away when she held the little man up and said “oh….no….Justin ! “. I looked over and she had baby brown all over her lap and Vichea’s legs were dripping. I picked him up and ran for the bathroom and I noticed the peanut-butter (smooth, not crunchy) sludge was now exploding out of his nappies. By the time we both got into the shower I was covered in the little man’s explosion. All we could do was laugh as we both showered and cleaned up. Turns out the poor little bugger had not done #2 for 4 days !! He looked quite chuffed with himself afterwards and fell into a deep sleep.Must have been quite a load off his mind ;-). Phalla was profusely thankful to me for handling it but a I said ” Hey….he’s my nephew ! What are family for?!”. I later spoke to Tra and told him I thought Vichea could pooh for Cambodia at the next Olympics !

pps ; sorry about the change in usual font for this post. My PC is wiggin’ out !

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