Art my arse

Damien Hirst and his $30 million Golden Calf

I am not sure whether this guy is a wanker or a genius.

Actually, yes I am. He is a goddamned genius.

Damien Hirst just entered the record books after an unprecedented auction of his works raised £70.5 million ($158.75 million) with more than 160 lots still to be sold. AND becuase he went though Sotheby’s, he avoided the usual 50% agent commission.

So what did he sell exactly ?

The top selling item was The Golden Calf– a real calf in a tank of formaldehyde with 18-carat gold hoofs and horns and a gold disc on its head.It had been estimated at between £8 million and £12 million, but in the end sold for £10.3 million, establishing a new record for a Hirst work at auction.

Another highlight was The Kingdom, a tiger shark in formaldehyde, which easily beat its estimate of £4 million to £6 million by selling for a spectacular £9.5 million.

Although the preserved animals were out in force, the collection – which Hirst has said was “probably the most amazing show I’ve put on” – also expanded on his other classic themes, including butterflies and spot paintings.

Jesus H Fucking Christ.Not bad for a geezer who looks like Bricktop out of the movie Snatch.

Imagine having a tank with a dead calf in it in your living room ? What kind of wanker would that be and how would the dinner conversation go ?

Dinner guest ;” Oh….Nice cow “

Super cashed up idiotic twat wanker art collector ; “Not bad hey ? It was a snip at $30million ….”

I am thinking of pickling a Cyclo Driver ( like the one below) in a large jar and calling it The Pickled Cyclo. I reckon I could raise….oh..$175,000,000R from the sale ?


Actually, the Pickled Cyclo isn’t a bad name for a bar. Maybe I will just open a bar, wear a beret and pretend to be an Avante Garde Artiste.

ps; Please let me know if you see any large jars lying about.

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